The Purple Sky

"Yesterday is but today's memory, tomorrow is today's dream" - Khalil Gibran



in less than a day, it'll be 2008! oh no! even after i rubbed my eyes, pinch my ears, bit my tongue..the fact did not change..2007 is leaving me! gosh! howdidtimemovesofastyikes!

if i could sum up 2007 in 4 words i'd say.....the fastest year ever? seriously...seriously.. someone slap me please. put me back into reality please..

january - just got back from kelantan (doing elective) and and miri (doing elective). made my first ever cake. got my car back after 2 months of abstinence.
february - err..wait.. i can think of something significant that happened this month..i know i can do this.. err.. all i can think of is..my relationship with a certain someone became worst this month.. and err.. yeah..i also almost made the biggest mistake ever in my life by almost accepting a someone..*sigh* bad month.

march - my washing machine broke down - there goes my biggest lifeline, haha..ibarat dah patah satu kaki..so my journey mengetuk dari pintu ke pintu to get my laundry done starts. and yep..dell dija left for batu pahat this month. *sad*

april - ho yeah! i turned 24! and yep.. umi got admitted



may - lost my 3rd purse in 5 years. and not to forget-i went through the best surgery posting in a million years! yeah!

june - became the leader of my posting group (again) which (i hate a lot) *sigh*

july - dell dija came back for their finals and stayed over for almost 2 weeks!


birthday pakcik

august - my 1st leg of final year xm. dell dija graduated. oh yea..the blog was finally discovered! heh!

september - passed the exam-finally made it trough to batu pahat! the starting of my dry blogging season. and oh yea..had no allowance this month.






farewell dinner kat rumah dr. zain. before leaving for batu pahat.



october - first time berpuasa di batu pahat. celebrated what could probably be my last raya with family before i started working. was also the worst month ever! had series of unfortunate events.. the slow death of my dearest lappy..the serious consequences/damage that it had caused along - almost cause me to fail my posting. lost my stethoscope. lost my camera's memory card and whole load of important files. i had series of mishap regarding my portfolio...i even had to redo my portfolio for...how many times was it? 5? grrr.... had a long, bad month with iqbal. was appointend secretary for community project- can anyone ever imagine being secretary and not having a computer in hand? and to top it up - i still had no allowance this month - bad.bad month.


open house 2007


november - lappy was finally dead. for real. i succumbed to depression. luckily abang was there to save the day..he essembled and send me this via the mail. isn't he an angel?





december - had the best obstetric posting ever. celebrated the best raya haji ever. family reunion during the kenduri..it was a blast! and not to forget - i've been using my curreny phone for a year now! kind of an achievement isn't it? haha.. dell dija started working..in batu pahat! =)




raya haji


the golden generation hehee..




so that was how my 2007 went..it was bit bitter..and sour..but sweet all at the same time!


so happie 2008 all!


pray for a great next year ya! =)

i know i'll sound corny writing this.

p/s: for those who knows me out there, now u know how corny i am. so i'm warning u once and for all. if u think u can't handle this, then start typing something else on the search bar right now or forever hold ur peace.

it's not even 11 yet and i'm sitting here in front my pc feeling sleepy and bored as ever and can't even recall what i did the whole day today.. (ahh..just remembered, must be the futsal game earlier, cess..) and because i haven't written a single word for my gynae portfolio yet and sleeping is not even an option in my current state so i ended up googling this - how to know you're in love? yea..yea..this might raise an eyebrow here there but no, i'm not in love.. i'm just curious. hehh.

there were plenty of answers - different people with their own version of describing the state of - being in love; however these are my favourites. en joy!



~ You know you're in love when there is no hesitation in expressing yourself. When you feel you can share anything and everything. When you are not anxious about making a commitment. Mostly, you don't feel the need to look around for greener pasture. You don't think that maybe the next man you meet may be better. You are willing to check this relationship out...see where it goes ~


~ You know you're in love when you feel like the one you're with was made for you by God himself. They're designed to be your other half and you question everything in your life that has every happened up until the point you meet them and everything in your life changes ~

~ True love is a choice. True love is when you care about someone else more than you care about yourself. It's when you would rather make them happy than make yourself happy. ~


*winks!*

and oh ya..speaking of the things i did.. i just remembered something else - i sneaked into the OT aka operation theatre today during an ongoing surgery without the permission of the working surgeon - to peek into a patient's case note in order to help a friend write her portfolio case, hehee..




nguahh..nguahh.. i'm a detached intellectual... i got to go live in an isolated lab la pas nih..

if i had to choose between this and this....


















that's easy. obvious answer isnt' it?
ok now lets try a harder task.
choose either....


this national heartthrob - no need introduction here kan?


this guy with a killer smile- aaron aziz (too bad he's married, huhu..)


or this heart melter, knee trembler, hypertension inducer, sleep depriver.. gong yoo..



aahhhhh...... men. *ok2..don't get distracted* harder to choose, (betul?) each one with own qualities..yada2.. plus..,

they aren't real life situation, so choosing any won't affect one life as much..
so now.. i have this..



and having to choose between all these:



it helps if one knows exactly what he/she wants..but its driving me nuts because i'm not entirely too sure what i want myself.

to stay close with family? or to stay away..? to start over at a new place but with (possibilities) of having to live alone..? to stay close with family? to choose a place with good reputation? or to a place where i think i'll have the widest learning opportunities?

at the same time, there's this question.. what if i'm not given the place i choose? what if there's too many people choosing to go to that same place that i ended up on the free market aka di lelong?

i love to think myself as adventurous wanting to go far2 away for a new life.. but then again.. i kept thinking.. is it really okay to go? am i being selfish to put family behind and think of me first? haaaihhh... penat fikir ok..

I seriously had to put this up here. here's some article that were circulated in the mails-these two were taken from jimbo's blog.


Article 1


Stop drinking water was left or stored in the car!!

This is how Sheryl Crow got breast cancer. She was on the Ellen show and she said this same exact thing.

So please be very careful ladies.Drinking Bottled Water kept in car….

A friend whose mother recently got diagnosed with breast cancer. The doctor told her: women should not drink bottled water that has been left in a car. The doctor said that the heat and the plastic of the bottle have certain chemicals that can lead to breast cancer.

So please be careful! Do not drink that water bottle that has been left in a car. Pass this on to all the women in your life. This information is the kind we need to know and be aware and just might save us!!!!

The heat causes toxins from the plastic to leak into the water and scientists have found these toxins in breast tissue. Use a stainless steel canteen or a glass bottle when you can!!!





Article 2
A 10 year old boy had eaten pineapple about 15 days back, and fell sick, from the day he had eaten. Later when he had his health check done…

Doctors diagnosed that he had AIDS. His parents couldn’t believe it…

The the entire family underwent a check-up…none of them suffered from AIDS.

So the doctors checked again with the boy if he had eaten out…

The boy said “yes”, he had eaten pineapple that evening. Immediately a group from the Malaya Hospital went to the pineapple vendor to check. They found the pineapple seller had a cut on his finger while cutting the pineapple and his blood had spread into the fruit. They checked him and the guy was suffering from AIDS… but he himself was NOT aware. Unfortunately the poor boy is suffering from it now.

Please take care what you eat at the road side. Please forward this mail to your dear one







p/s: i wonder..sapa la punye kerja dok menspreadkan email2 mengarut mcm nih around? sekali baca bunyi mmg menakutkan ye tak? makan nenas dapat AIDS? kalau org yg malas nak double check, sure dah berenti makan pineapple, atau buah2 lain, infact, semua makanan yg dijual di luar sbb takut infected by AIDS! aku try google for both topics- apparently it has been around for quite some time, haha..tak tau berapa ramai org yg dah terpengaruh dgn article nih. kepada org2 yg rajin menulis email ngarut mcm nih..berenti la weyyy...byk lagi kerja lain yg boleh dibuat..


Haven’t been around for quite a while.

Whenever I read my post kat bawah tu, I thought to myself – ghee.. I sounded so depressed.

But really. I had to admit. These last few weeks mmg have been really testing. Testing kesabaran, testing ketahanan diri.. Mcm2 berlaku.. Whenever I thought things could never be worse, something else went wrong. And this went on…one thing after another. And what did I do amidst all that?

- I whined. I complained. I wallowed. I walked around as if mine is the biggest problem in the world and no one would ever understand.

And good did I achieve by doing all that?

- None. After I whine, I felt like whining some more. I complained –why does bad things always happen to me? And afterwards, I felt more depressed. I slept during the day, went to bed early at night, woke up late in the morning. Everything I need to do, went into my pending list. During the day, I walked around with the ‘ignore me-I had a bad day’ attitude. I put up frowned face all day long, and spread guilt around to my friends for not having the same problem– And made them all feel bad as a result.

And did my problems resolve?

- Hah! Definitely not! In fact, I felt worse myself. And that’s when I realized- oh God, what have I done? I should have buckle up and move forward. Problems don’t go by itself. They need to be tended. What I need to do was stay around and get my problems sorted – and after that only I realized that actually, things were not so bad after all..It was the mind game that made everything looked worse than it actually was.. and it was also the mind that could actually made all the hard things in life easy. And the most important thing that I had actually forgotten to do was.. to count my blessings. Even when most things in life had went into the drain, even when all things important seem to be lost – I still have a lot of other things with me. Its not the end of the world. Its not like I couldn’t get up and fix things up.
I just forgot to be grateful.

p/s: took this from kak hliza's blog (sorry kak, saya qoute kejap) from the late tennis pro Arthur Ashe,

"True greatness is, start where you are, use what you have, and do what you can."

*sigh*


its monday and more than a week past raya.
still in raya mood? -haha..takdela. aura raya dah abih, yg tggl cume flab2 di sekeliling pinggang. time jejak kaki masuk umah last saturday.. teraser mcm.. baru ditransfer balik ke alam realiti. haih.

ada perasaan macam nak melarikan diri.

agak ader perasaan bosan dgn rutin kehidupan sehari2.

if i were given a chance to live differently, even for a day..what would i do?

sail on a yatch in the mediterranean sea?
learn how to drive a plane?
try being a teacher for a day?
jadik crew casa impian going around decorating people's place?
atau replace maria tunku sabri jadi pengacara jjcm?
hah, atau temankan chef wan touring crew..aku boleh tolong habiskan makanan yg dier masak..

adoilaaa..how i wish i could escape reality.. it would be nice.




p/s: have i ever mentioned.. that my first ever ambition..ever.. was to be an interior designer. *wink*


Happy belated raya all.

Just a little recap on my raya. Raya tahun ni mcm biasa je. I mean, spt tahun2 lepas jugak la. I started a new posting one week before raya (medical posting) and thank god the lecturer was kind enough to let us go on Thursdays for raya. I can’t imagine what’ll happen if we were to travel home on Friday evening. Two days before balik kampung most of us were struggling to complete our clinical discussion report. To be submitted on Wednesday before 4pm online, for discussion on Thursday morning before everyone pack up and leave for raya break.

Since my computer is still not in a good shape, I completed mine using the campus’s computer and submitted it on Wednesday 3.30pm. (can’t help it since one is a last-minuter, ha!) Failure to do so will jeopardize the end posting assessment marks. Anyway, after submission, I was all over the moon, tinggal pikir nak balik raya je. I didn’t even keep a copy of my report …sbb the computer was unable to detect my thumbdrive, and being too laden with raya thoughts I seriously don’t think that as necessary. I only saved it in the student’s personal H drive, which is only accessible from the computer lab itself.

It was not until later that night that I suddenly thought of checking my mails for any reply from the lecturer. Just in case la kan. And there it was.. at 1am in the morning, in my mailbox a mail that reads:

Isleasy, I did not receive the attachment along with your email.
*dang!* My soul died. And I didn’t have a copy of the report with me to resend. I went to class with weak legs and flail heart. First, sbb hati dah memang ada kat Taiping, jasad je masih trapped kat Batu Pahat. Kedua, sebab everyone else’s report has been submitted while mine was.. well.. u know what happened. However., I wasn’t scolded or anything for being careless. To tell the truth, the lecturer seemed indifferent when I saw him that morning. However, not getting any scolding is never equivalent to good remarks so I can only pray that no marks were deducted from that incident.

Anyway, class ends at 12. We left the house at 12.50pm. I thought we were going to be stucked in the highway traffic for good, much to my surprise, the highway was relatively empty all the way sampai Taiping. Dropped Ann at her house in Kampar, and Hanis at Kamunting’s plaza tol. It only took me 7 hours ++ to reach home, yeay!

On Friday, we left for raya in my grandma’s place – Penang. Again, bukak puase dlm kereta sbb umi got off from work quite late.

Raya day- nothing much. Biasala.. when one stay at home on raya day and do nothing, one tend to revert back to humanoids primitive activities, which is eating. So that was what mainly happened on the first 3 days of raya. Makan smp bloated, minum sampai kain ketat, ulang alik ke tandas for god knows how many times and passing massive amount of gas at the end of the day. Akan makan bila lapar, makan bila tak ada apa nak dibuat, makan bila tetamu datang, makan bila pegi rumah org, makan lagi bila tgk org lain makan sebab nampak sedap..etc2..all the usual stuff… and hah, I was still able to collect some trifty amount of duit raya ok! Talk about murah rezeki, hehee..
But I have to add-being an adult (malu nak ngaku adult), the best thing about raya ( apart from makan and still getting duit raya) is meeting the relatives. Nothing in the world beats that.

Third day of raya - back in Taiping. I learned that most friends were already packing their bags leaving home. Masing2 dah bekerja, so cuti pun tak lama. Aku jelah yg cuti byk tahun ni, and the worst part is, stuck at home with nowhere to go. Huaaa..so basicly my main agenda in the next few days would still be; makan and lepak.

Yep. So..

Happy raya all. May u have a good one. Maaf Zahir dan Batin.




p/s: lost my camera's memory card so no raya pics this year. *sad*


when one's sweet heart is about to go on a trip to a faraway place on eid, one have the right to feel sad, angry and dejected, right?






















but i'm all for u dear. not all men can claim they celebrated eid in space.


=)




3 days to raya and counting
dah nak habis dah puasa rupanya.
people say good things don't last
gamaknye mcm ni le rasanye
i seriusly wouldn't mind sambung buln pose for another week or two
but then again, i wouldn't want to be in this-not so-elevated mood for any longer
tah knape, kali ni,. bile pikir pasal raya, aku rase deppressed.

tiap2 pagi bukak radio dgr lagu raya i became more depressed.
masuk wad pagi2 dgr staff nurse bukak lagu raya aku jadik lebih takde mood..

i'm definitely looking forward for the cuti and balik kampung, but not the raya.
haih. ape nak jadi nih...

22 non-blogging days!

whoaaaa.......!!!! lama tu...
......
My .reasons .for .not ..blo.gging:

1) new place, new environment. ne.e.d time to adjust. (haha..alasan)
(for those yg still taktau, aku dah recently pindah ke. batu pahat. recently means 4 weeks ago..been meaning to blog about this tp tak tulis2.. by now cerita pindah .randah n.i. dah .pun ...som.ewhat basi and aku. st.ill ta..k sure whet.he.r i sho.u.ld or shoul.dn't write a..bo.ut it .in here, hehe.. .tgklah nan.ti mcm...ana...........)
.
2) .hav.e. ..been busy....and .do.wn..right tired most of the day..!!
again, .i .blame .th.is o.n ...my .p.oor ad.justability in .ne.w in.vi.ronmen.t. i thought i'd dwell well in new place.s,. but i've proven .my self wrong. skrg ni balik tiap2 har.i terus terkelep.et. i went to bed at aro.u.n.d 10. pm. to 11.pm these d.ays.. bu.t of cours.e,............... o.n days when i need to get some things done i'll wake up earlier la..) maybe i should blame the wheather jugak.. or maybe the nyamuk2 yg infesting my room ... ....(..sk.rg. ni .duduk da..lam bilik rase.r m..cm d.uduk. dalam gua...........) nyamuk is a ...............real mood killer ok..especially when u're being attacked by a stampede all at once. though i don't mind donating some of my blood, but the multiple bite lesion they left is not a pretty sight ok....and .....n.....ot ..a pretty .sigh.t ag.ain .if u hav.e. to spend t.he next day mengga.r..u.2 .ur badan in ..p.ubl.ic a.n.d o.pen are.a...........................s.. (.es.p..ec..ially... .depan p.atients .a..nd all)......huhu..sungg.uh .tak professional.........
..
.......................
3) those darn portfolios and darn reports
now currently in my final semester, we have to submit 10 portfolios by the end of our 6 months course h.ere. i don't mind writing clinical reports, i se.riously don't. they're not that much of a hassle anyway. yg kurang enak is the fact that we have to read and appraise studies and evidence-based articles (a.k.a EBM) in o...u.......r reports.. (ok kantoila skrg yg aku ni mmg bukan kaki baca journal .. .o..r.EBM articles...). ...so now that. w.e'.re .forced to do so, so its like EBM pagi, EBm petang, EBM malam..,. .......i... even talked EBM with housemates during meal time. sungguh taksub EBM kitorg skrg nih.

4) my lovely laptop *pat2 my laptop on the back*
as u can see from the things i wrote above.. it is interspersed with dots here and here. i didn't ...accidentally type them all on here u see. diorg muncul sendiri. all the while i've been wrestling, (yess..wrestling) with my keyboard to fend them off my reports.. (bygkan aku struggle nak tulis report and titik2..... ..tu asyik dok muncul kat. .screen, and everytime aku delete dier muncu.l balik, kengkadang tu mcm berperang dgn keyoard sendiri utk pastikan my reports are dots-free.) btw, yg ko.rg boleh nampak ni adalah the milder form of the c.ondition.....o.n da.ys it could be muc .w.orse.. anyway ..lag.ik, this is n.ot. the .firs.t time it hap.pe.ns.. .dah byk kali.. ..us.u.ally it.'ll go .a.w.ay. in .a week or so..tp .kali .ni .dah dekat ....4 mi.ngg.u..huhu.h...u..waaaaa....).any.one. g.ot any. advice?..(. other than t.uk.ar keyboard atau tukar laptop.. la .of c.ourse,. huhu.....)....
.

and owh ye..sblm .ak.u lupe.. this month is my b.log's one year anniversary. its 19/9/2007 to be precise. .......s.h.ould.'ve. blog on that day.,hmm... .so now its a belated anniversary dah la..its been a good one year at the purple sky with all of you! *claps claps*

so for those who. have been reading this .blog for the past one year i say thank you..and fo.r .th.os..e ..who h.av.e been c.o.m.ing. ove.r even when i didn't write anything i say thank you as well,. and a.lso .s.orry fo.r mak.in.g u .s.ee that. t.akda .ti..ket. post again and again for quite some.tim.e..

and since it's al.ready... .half.way past Ramadhan, i think i.'d better wis..h selam.at mencari laila.tul qadar. to all my muslim bloggers.. (.not sure whether i have. a. n.on- mu.sli.m blogger reader or not, b.ut just to be safe.). so may all of us achive. t.he .b.est .in. .these final days
of the month!
.
..so ya...that.'s i.t. .hope those dots does not deter u all from re.ading this post! =). !......

tarik nafas..
baca statement ni baik2..
sbb statement ni sgt penting.
menentukan hidup dan mati, haha (almost la)

<TIKET BALIK RAYA DAH HABIS>

ilek
tiada
sold out
fully booked

...*sigh*.....

belum pun start bulan pose. plan asal nak balik naik ketapi. igtkan awal lagi nak book tiket. yelah, ader sebulan lebih lagi kan. huhu.. sungguh cetek ramalanku. check online, sume tiket dah abih. yg ader tiket pagi raya, sampai destinasi ptg raya.. oh. tak mungkin aku sanggup beraya didalam gerabak ketapi! cuckupla sekali pengalaman beraya dalam wad. option lain yg ada adalah:

a. drive naik keta
b. bas
c. kapal terbang?

option a: penat. sbb dari batu pahat ke butterworth (kampung nenek) definitely akan jam.

option b: tak silap tiket bas still ada, tp aku sbnrnye tak berapa fancy option nih, sbb..sbb.. kekerapan kes2 melibatkan bas semenjak dua menjak nih. phobia ok. lagi pun sure akan jam jugak. daripada jam naik bas aku raser baik jam naik keta yg drive sendiri. at least keselamatan dah terjamin.

option c: sbnrnye aku taknak consider pun option ni lgsg, sbb.. mana aku nak cekau duit? huhu.. lagipun kne naik kat jb dan trip dari batu pahat ke jb akan amik masa lagi sejam setgh kalau jam-free. owh lupa lak nak cakap, tiket air asia pun dah abis sbnrnye. yg tinggal cume mas. haha (saja je letak option ni kat sini nak kasi nampak byk choices, huhu..)

so, dear blogger frens... apa plan balik kampung raya tahun ni?



amik this tag from drNo
agak gatal nak membuat tag nih sebab malas nak buat bende lain
plus, dah lama tak update and i kind of seem to run out of ideas..or actually more like,byk sgt bende going on semenjak dua menjak ni nak cerita pun tak tau nak start dari mana..

macam drNo gak, dulu2 mcm tak berminat sgt nak menyahut tag2 org ni, skrg ni raser mcm seronok pulak, sbb its makes me sit down and think about myself, ttg bende2 yg aku tak penah kisah nak pikir pun sblmnih.

so here goes..

The 4 things

4 things that scare me:
- kematian (uh-oh.. sbb tak tahu bile dan bagaimana..dan jugak sbb persiapan ..tak seberapa mana..)
- how to tell others that i'v.e lost som.ething (huhu.. ni disebabkan aku selalu hilangkan/misplaced brg2, aku mmg tak gemar sggh tebiat buruk aku yg satu nih, aku tak kisah sgt kalau brg2 yg aku ilangkan tuh tak melibatkan org lain, tp kalau yg melibatkan org lain, contohnye henset - sbb aku kne tukar nombor baru n inform ramai org.. atau brg2 hak org lain.., arghh tensen sungguh!)
- if anything happens to my um.i
- that i'll go out there and be a bad doctor (or kill someone due to my mistake.. nauzubillah ok)

4 peoples/things who m.akes m.e laugh (aku alter sikit part things tu,. sbb takde spec.ific. org,. sbb aku generally pun m.m.g suke gelak)
- kawan2
- m.e fam.ily =) *wink*
- blogs i read (dah byk kali tergolek2 ketawa bile bac.a blog2 org lain)
- good books (harry potter pun byk dry humour ok..haha.. mcm phrase ni- wangototheballwime? sesape yg bace 'the goblet of fire' insyaAllah paham..haha..)

4 things i love
kalau tolak diri sendiri..hehe.. it will be like this..
- jam tangan ku
- laptop ku
- landscape yg cantik (tak kira le gambar ke, real life sc.enery ke..owh mmg ku suka bgt!)
- good food x 328 (i looooove to eat!)

4 things/people i hate
- cigarette smoke
- sampah yg dibuang merata2 dan pembuang2 nye sekali..
- filem2 Prof A.Razak Mohaideen.. (huhu no offense)
- anything that has to do with clothes (basuh baju, sidai baju, angkat baju, lipat baju, iron baju) tp tolak pakai baju dan shopping baju la,. yg 2 tu ok..theheehe..

4 things i don't understand
- muzik hiphop
- politicians
- knape new relationship kne mula dgn perkenalan.. sbb aku plg lemah bab2 nak tanya apa nama org, asal dari mana.. keje ape.. etc2., boleh tak just skip that part and terus start berkawan je instead? yg lain2 tu boleh je discover along the way ye tak?..pelik ke aku kata mcm ni?

- org2 yg suke letak spam dalam mailbox (are there even people reading it? duh!)

4 things on my desk ( itupun kalau yg ader kat depan aku ni boleh di consider sbg desk..)
- laptop
- memo pad
- earphone
- tempat letak pensel

4 things i'm doing right now
err....
- doing this tag
- err...does breathing counts?

4 things i want to do before i die
- learn 3rd, 4th, 5th or more languages
- travel the world (esp places with good food!)
- belajar baking, haha!
- hafal the Quran (huhu...harap yg nih tak jadik angan2 je..)

4 simple things to describe my personality
- aku cepat naik angin, tp aku jugak cepat sejuk
- aku sgt sensitif (senang terasa dgn cakap2 org, senang menangis ble tgk tv, baca buku,. etc2)
- it is so easy to make me happy
- aku suke senyum dan bergelak ketawa (walaupun gigi ku tak lawa! =D)

4 things i can't do
- berdiet (Ya Allah jauhkan lah aku dari penyakit diabetes dan darah tinggi dan gout dan apa2 jelah yg melibatkan diet control...)
- desk work ie keje dalam ofis
- drive at night without my specs/lenses
- bela binatang


okeh. dah habis! not tagging anyone, because i did this for fun! tp sesape nak buat pun no hal je.. ahaks!



21 non-blogging days
Lama tu.
Agak malas nak menaip
Menunggu inspirasi yg tak dtg2,haha..
Plus, my lappy pun tak berapa sihat semenjak dua menjak nih..

Anyway, hope its not too late still to wish Happy (belated) 50th National Day to Malaysia and happy being merdeka to all Malaysian. I'm sure most of us are proud to be born in this country whether we express it or not. Others showed it by displaying flags, singing patriotic songs. I guess I played my part by being a good Malaysian. (I studied hard, I don't litter, I TRY my best to be a good driver (note the word try there, =P).

I'll express my gratitude by counting my blessings. At the age of 24, I am able to lead a peaceful life, eat good food everyday, live a practical life; (shop wherever i want, water running thru my taps thou not all the time, electricity so i can surf the net easily haha.. and the list goes on..) So thank you. To all who helped build Malaysia; be it in the past, present, or future --> to what it has become now. A big THANK YOU.

First Stage (Denial)
in the acute phase pt will present with:


  • terminal insomnia
  • nightmares
  • hypophagia (phagia=eating)
  • lost of appetite
  • social withdrawal
  • hyper-thothialltheplace (throwing things all over the place)


Second Stage (Learned Helplessness)
if left untreated most pt will succumb to the chronic phase, which will manifest as:


  • hypersomnolence
  • increase in appetite
  • hyperphagia (basicly eating everything within sight or within the reach of hand)
  • increase in social engagement
  • hyper-inetoclevthiup (i need to clean everything up. room, toilet, etc)
  • loss of orientation to time, space and person

diagnosis: pre-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
trigger: end-semester final exam


all the usuall symptoms. been thru it for God knows how many times already. but it never gets better everytime. same 'ol goosebumps.
and yesterday, i was lying on my bed all alone. don't really feel like studying, and don't feel like sleeping either. so i got up and assemble the not-so-new garment rack i just got from tot (bought for use in batu pahat later). it was 1am n the morning. =)

p/s: i'm actually feeling fine. not that stressed-up anyway, not yet at least. hopefully it remain this way till D day. (do take note that level of stress is not in reverse to level of preparation =P). nonetheless, having to wait for uncertainties is definitely an ugly feeling.

pray for me my dear readers.. i need all the prayers in the world. haih!







[P/s (p/s)] : currently listening to 'my way'-frank sinatra =)


friday 10/8/17 marked the day they officially earned the title which they'll carry for the rest of their lives. a title which with comes along far greater responsibilities.

oath taking ceremony


seeing this made my eyes hot. big HUGS to all of u! delldijafatah especially..i'm soo proud of u all!!

it won't be long till i'm there too, insyaAllah.





p/s: pic credits to (actually stolen without consent) jimbo =P



lin (a junior) and co. (her housemates) threw a birthday bash for mardhiyah (another jr) last night.


however thats not the highlight of my story today. the highlight is, for the birthday, they made her (mardhiyah) briyani. how's that for a cooking skill? hebat giler kan? anyway that is how i end up having leftover briyani for breakfast today.


the briyani..was seriously sedap. makan kosong takde lauk pun sedap. aku makan dgn rasa amat kagum.. diorang ni.. isyh.. hebat giler la i tell you. isyhh..

makin bz neh makin rajin lak aku update blog, hehh..

org kata makin byk tanggungjawab kite makin tinggi keupayaan diri.. ada satu wisdom saying, (aku tak sure kat mana aku dgr..) yg berbunyi; kalau kite nak suruh org buat sesuatu, jgn suruh org yg byk masa terluang, instead, suruh org yg sentiasa sibuk buat. the latter will be the one who'll get the job done.

i just noticed yg blogging and blog-hopping nih therapeutic. stress-reliever.
mind opener. bila menulis blog.. most of the time aku akan menulis bende2 yg selama ni duduk bersemadi dalam kepala je.. bende2 yg biasenye kat org aku tak cerita. seolah2.. viewing my own life from a different angle. dan jugak sbg satu cara utk mengekspresi diri and self discovery. . sblm aku mula menulis blog dulu, aku tak penah terfikir utk menulis apa2 dimana2.. aku ada diary, tp diary is one thing yg aku simpan utk diri sendiri, dan bukan utk dibaca dan ditatap org lain. tapi bila aku mula belajar menulis, (dan aku masih lagi belajar..) aku baru sedar yg menulis ni bukannya susah sgt.. aku pun boleh menulis! *now anyone can write!* dan makin byk aku menulis, makin byk bende utk ditulis! dan yg plg ketara..sikit demi sikit aku mula perceive segala yg berlaku dikeliling aku as topik yg menarik utk diceritakan/ditulis dalam blog. and writing is actually totally different from describing something verbally. ada byk ruang utk bermain dgn perkataan, manipulasi cerita supaya lebih dramatik..

part yg plg aku suka bila aku terjebak dalam dunia blog ni adalah..aku dapat baca ttg kehidupan biasa org2 disekeliling aku, dari berbagai jenis lapisan kehidupan. everyone has their own story to tell..their own struggle in life.. and discovering these, i may say, is a jem experience indeed. life yg sblm ni aku lihat from the perspective of my two eyes je, can now be seen from other's eyes as well. pretty something, kan?

(nowadays its not infrequent to find me qouting stuffs/things in discovered from other people's blog..ughh..talk about addiction..) tapi still.. there's a limit as to how far i can take in everything i read jugak kan.. so must be a bit wise there. *wink*

there's one more thing. my blog has recently been discovered!

hah!

(dell, i now u're reading this!) haha.. 4 years back when i started blogging i was just happy and content to have friends from blogging circle only. i never invited anyone to read my blog, or advertise my blog in any way possible, nor have i left any comments in real-life friends' blogs un-anonymously. aku penah gune my own real name kat sini before, but decided to revert back to anonymosity soon after. i also make sure that my blog is ungoogle-able had anyone tried to blog my name, heh. =P

bukan atas sbb aku menulis anything vulgar regarding anyone behind their backs, atau menghina sesiapa atau menulis apa2 yg bersifat propaganda atau provokatif.. (i'm a totally harmless writer, ok..), my only reason is..

aku selesa bersifat anonymous. (i'm not that anonymous anyway..aku ada post gamba sendiri every now and then dalam blog ni ape..)

so now babe, welcome to my blog! sorry i've been keeping this from u for so long..bukan sbb aku tak caye ko or anything ok! just jgn spread the word around ok, hehehe..

dell dija will be having their final year long case and exit viva exam later (today). * they're just hours away from becoming REAL doctors! walauwehhh...!! so uh oh..a HEARTY GOOD LUCK to both of u!! fatah dah beres, tinggal korg dua jer. i know u'll make it thru in a breeze. aku tak risau lgsg pasal korg actually. * lebih risaukan diri sendiri..huhuhu*


''dan ketahuilah, Allah tidak membebani seseorang itu melainkan sesuai dengan kesanggupannya''
(terjemahan surah Al-Baqarah:286)

"Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Bersabarlah kamu (menghadapi segala kesukaran dalam mengerjakan perkara-perkara yang berkebajikan), dan kuatkanlah kesabaran kamu lebih daripada kesabaran musuh, di medan perjuangan), dan bersedialah (dengan kekuatan pertahanan di daerah- daerah sempadan) serta bertaqwalah kamu kepada Allah supaya, kamu berjaya (mencapai kemenangan)."
(terjemahan surah Ali-Imran ayat 200)


p/s: dah pass nanti jgn lupe belanje aku makan eh?






anyone care to help.........? =)

I’m not an impromptu buyer. I think before I buy. If I want something, I’ll check it out first. Try it on once or twice, then I’ll go home. Kalau malam tu tak lena tidur, makan tak kenyang mandi tak basah.., then the thing is definitely worth buying. And I usually won’t decide until I’ve seen all the items sold in the other shops first. Aku akan duduk, list down semua brg seangkatan yg menarik perhatian aku, compare prices, compare tahap kemenyesalan kalau aku tak beli barang2 tu, then... baru aku akan beli.

Sbb tu aku suke shopping sengsorg. Actually it is more like, takda org yg boleh tahan shopping dgn aku. (haha..kecuali sorg dua member..tu mainly sbb kitorg kongsi principle shopping yg sama)

But this time its different. Aku nak cepat dan aku mmg perlukan kasut baru. So nampak je satu yg berkenan, aku terus ambik. Malas nak pikir byk.

Its tumit-friendly, for prolonged standing. Tapak getah, anti slippery. Tak macam kasut lama aku yg dah banyak kali malukan aku depan org ramai. Siap ader butterfly and flowers kat bahagian tapak dier. Very girlish ok. Sayang lak rasenye nak berjalan byk2..Takut nanti lama2 butterfly tu haus..hehe.. Dan jugak, sgt comfy. Aku raser takat nak lari2 pakai kasut nih takde hal punye.

ni lah kasut plg girlish yg penah aku beli seumur idup aku, heh..

This one is one size bigger than my actual size. Size kaki aku yg comel ni, spt biasa mmg susah nak dapat (size 4 @5) so tak kisah la. At least I’ll have my share of being Cinderella kot2 kasut aku tertinggal time berjalan/berlari nanti. Harap2 la ada prince charming yg nak kutipkan kasut aku nih, hehehe..

Hopefully kasut nih tahan lama.

Ohhh..I so love my new shoe!

kereta. kasut. lab coat. tendon hammer. and now lampu meja.
oh tidak.


i'll start with my labcoat.


1. aku tinggalkan labcoat tu di luar dewan time xm anaesthesiology and radiology ptg jumaat lepas.
i never see it again since. oh tidak.
nasib baik takde barang2 lain yg aku tinggalkan dalam poket tu, kecuali measuring tape. (dalam keadaan biasa, poket labcoat tu ibarat poket doraemon. ask for anything, u'll find it in there..)
so now i'm labcoatless.
and measuring tapeless.


thanx to bana yg sudi pinjamkan coat dier, at least for now i'm surviving.
tapi oh no. nak kne tempah baru before exam 2 minggu depan la nampaknye..huaaaaaa...


2. semalam jugak kasutku yg selama ini setia telah membuka mulutnya luas, luaaaas...... keluar lidah..keluar semua.. asalnye igt nak gam je kasut tu balik, when:


aku : karang time balik igt nak singgah cobbler laa. nak gi gam kasut balik.
5 org serentak dan beramai2 : haaaa? nak gam balik..? kasut macam tu nak gam balik..? kasut tu dah buruk *&^#*... tak rugi beli baru *%#&... dah sampai masa*&^%...buang jelah..*&#@...
aku : huhu..yelah..yelah.. (sambil usap2 kasut..)


3. keta tu dah dekat 8 bulan tak berservis.
oh tolonglah jgn geleng2 kepala. aku hanya seorg driver wanita yg hanya tahu isi minyak, isi angin tayar, basuh kereta bila kotor, dan cek minyak enjin bila kereta rasa lain macam. dan ahh lagi satu..aku juga tahu cek air. hehe..lain2 skill aku tak ada.. lalu bila kereta yang aku bawak rasa tak sesedap biasa..atau rasa macam tersangkut2 je hati mula rasa berdebar2...tiap2 kali nak idupkan enjin nak kemana2..hati aku mmg tak lepas berdoa..mintak2 la..sempat sampai sekolah..atau.. mintak2la..selamat sampai rumah..


bukan tak mahu hantar ke mekanik..tapi..


uhuh.. $$


dan uhuh..aku takut ditipu. (it happened once before)


dan disebabkan *uhuh* yg first tu aku can't afford utk ditipu..even tadi memberku si miha baru tunjukkan resit keretanya (yg hampir membuat aku menitik air mata..) yg dihantar ke kedai sbb minyak asyik menitik dari bawah kereta..tapi bila sampai kedai mekanik tu kata ini bocor..itu tersumbat..ini haus..lalu nak ditukar semuanya..(padahal sebulan lepas time member yg sorg ni cek kereta everything was fine..which aku secretly doubt betul ke semua sekali rosak at once...?) btw..member aku yg sorang ni went to the same kedai i got myself cheated so...mmm..


4. dan dah hampir sebulan aku tak nampak byg tendon hammer aku..dan did i mention yg exam aku will be in 2 weeks time?


5. and yesterday when i woke up i saw this.



sbnrnye when i first saw it was much more dramatic than this. aku repositioned lampu tu supaya tak nampak horror sgt

notice bahagian yg patah? lampu tu berdiri dgn adanya support dr dinding je.
thanx dinding. thats what friends are for.

huaaaaaaa..... after 6 good years lampu ni berkhidmat kat aku..it suddenly decided to konk on me pagi semalam. of all the days. tapi lantak la..boleh menyala lagi kan..so it'll do for now.

5. and i never did mention lagi kan yg i'm moving to batu pahat by the end of the month. selepas almost 5 tahun belajar kat uni ku yg bertuah ni, the student affairs decided utk tak provide kitorg with hostel for the remaining 6 months of our medical training.

so new umah sewa (this will definitely go into my other post later, insyaAllah, if i have the time/chance)

basicly semuanya...ongkos..ongkos..ongkos..



I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
but always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door close
I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give fate a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance...
I hope you dance
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out, reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance..
(Time is a wheel in constant motion)
I hope you dance
(..always rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(..wants to look back on their years and wonder, where those years have gone)
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes
I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
Dance...
I hope you dance
Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along.
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone.
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone.

notice something about today's date?

its 20072007. hah!




0430. terjaga tdo n nampak 2 incoming msg drp 2 frens sejak mlm semalam.

msg pertama:

hi sori la, silent mode. dalam 400, boleh runding.
-*sigh* rm 400 utk mesin basuh 2nd hand utk kegunaan selama 6 bulan shj. kalau share 8 org? sorg rm 50. offer satu lagi cuma rm250 je. hmmm..

msg kedua:

hi there. esok u ader kat hospital tak? igt nak gi sana.
-dtg hospital?? *long sigh* macamana nih? bukan tak nak jumpa..tapi...*mengeluh lagi*

bgn n cuba nak study. flu aku ni lgsg tak membantu. dari semalam dok ader temperature.. lubang pernafasan pun cume sblh je yg patent.

beberapa ketika kemudian, zzzz... *tertido atas meja dan buku2..*

beberapa ketika kemudian lagi terasa ader sesuatu yg sejuk kat muka. huiishh..apa nih? sambil lap2 muka.. air?? tgk atas n nampak tingkap ader titisan2 air yg for surely dtg dari atas. keyboard laptop pun basah jugak. hiissyyhh..org atas ni lagi! bukan 1st time dier dok tuang2 air keluar tingkap dier. grrr.....

0921
tuut...*incoming msg*

hey are u coming to the ward with us?
-alamak. nak pegi ke tak nih? malassnye..humang aiii..

1007
ann bukak pintu bilik.
u, tolong habihkan nasik goreng i smlm ok? sambil angkat beg. nak balik kampung.
-haaa...? i mcm ni mana nak ader selera makan kak oi..!



ceh..and i still have a long day ahead of me today. terima kasih buat YAM Yang DiPertuan Negeri Sembilan sbb bg cuti hari ni.

aku tgh duduk2 kat jblt petang tu dgn member2 utk revision class. muke masing2 time tu penyet je.. mmg penat giler la hari tu..lecturer tu pulak mcm takde tanda2 nak berenti lagi..isykk..

tgh cuba2 nak concentrate tu, tetiba mata aku terpandang id tag kat tudung.. tah kenapa hari ni 'kelonsong' id tag (plastik yg buat isi id tag tu..) aku tu nampak lawa pulak, nampak mcm berkilat lebih sikit dari biasa, nampak mcm... baru.

haha..mmg dah betul la aku dah penat sgt. mata pun dah tak betul.

tp sbb curious, aku pun amik dan belek2 id tag tuh..belek dekat2..issyk..betul ke nih. takkan la pulak. mcm mana tetiba buleh jadi mcm nih... kelonsong id tag asal aku ader 2 kesan koyak. dah kusam n ader kesan bintik2 pulak tu. biler letak id aku dalam kelonsong tu muka nampak macam ada demam campak pun ader gak.. disebabkan kesan koyak tu, tiap2 kali aku tunduk kedepan sikit, semua isi kandungan dier akan tercampak keluar (selain id, aku ader letak reminder dgn poket kalendar dlm kelonsong tu) bende ni mmg selalu jadi la sbnrnya. aku mmg dah lama menyampah nak kutip id aku yg selalu jatuh ni dan mmg dah lama niat nak beli plastik kelonsong yg baru pun. tp bile sampai kedai asyik lupe manjang. tu yang smp skrg tak berganti.

anyway, balik kpd cerita tadi..time aku dok belek2 tu..semua ciri2 yg aku sebutkan tadi tak ada di situ. yang ader cume sekeping plastik id yang masih cun dan berkilat. apa lagi kesimpulan yang aku ader..selain..

sah lah tu mmg plastik kelonsong id baru.

soalan seterusnya...

sapa yg gantikan?

takkan la aku terbeli sendiri tapi tak igt? aku belum seperlupa tu lagi kot, insyaAllah. penat aku pikir...kali terakhir aku perasan plastik tu still buruk lagi adalah time aku pinjam buku kat library minggu lepas. dah lama tu. takkan la ader org masuk bilik aku n gantikan time aku tido? takpun ader org tukar time aku solat kat surau? sapa nak buat keje2 mcm tu? housemate aku? huiiisyyy..tak mungkin kot.

sampai skrg, aku masih musykil... bile aku citer kat kengkawan, semua buat muke dek je......apekah? takde pulak sesape nak tampilkan diri dan jelaskan kemusykilan aku nih..at least boleh la jugak aku cakap terima kasih..takpun belanja makan kuih sekeping dua.. dah penat aku pikir.. hari2 aku pakai id tu makin tambah kemusykilan aku.. isyk..

sungguh amat misteri.





I’m hungry. And bored. So I decided to take the tag challege. Ha! From Kak Hliza.

8 random things about myself

1. I can’t stand cream mushroom soup and all cream-based soups. I actually love cream soup or should I put it, I used to love them, until one hictorical day when I vomited 2 hours after I ate a bowl full of mushroom soup few years back. Nowadays I can at most have a sip or two, but anything more than that will physiologically be thrown back out of my tummy.

2. I have the tendency to miss number 3 when counting verbally. Say I’m required to list 5 items, I’ll usually go; number 1 is yada..yada.. number 2..yada..yada.. number 4..yada..yada.. only to notice when I reached number 6?

3. I can’t sleep well without my blankets on. I’ll feel bare. Haha. I need to make my room tad a bit colder so I can snugly wrap myself in the blanket before falling asleep.

4. I really hate people who litter! Esp the ones who throw stuffs out of their car windows, apartment windows. *special note to the person who lives one floor above mine, screwww you..!!!*

5. I used to name my two lovely
gerbera. Amirah and Nazirah. Sob..sob..do R.I.P..

6. I have an addiction for sunquick blackcurrant cordial. I take it at a dose of 750ml prn (as needed) –minimum once daily. Failure to comply (which usually happens when I travel elsewhere or balik kampung) will lead to withdrawal symptoms (dry lips, sunken eyeballs =P)

7. My all time ambition was ( and still are) to be an interior designer. Hah! But circumstances lead me to medical field, and I’m grateful nonetheless! But if I have more time in the future.. hmmm.. perhaps I will..

8. I love the sky. Night time, day time, sunny, even rainy days.. I just love them. During younger days I used to climb and sat on the window pane just to enjoy the breeze, or play with the raindrops that fall from the roof. Even now, I have my desk facing the window so I can look up to the sky whenever I study.




The rule of this tagging game is I have to tag 8 other people but since I don't have that much friends in here anyway, haha I'll just tag Dr.NO in return for tagging me earlier. =)

lalala...back to my books.

a teaching hospital decided to ban the students from the hospital ground for 2 days due to the accreditation processes.


on one hand its "wohooo..!!"

on the other its - takut kitorg malukan pihak hospital ke?

*sigh* apa-apa jelah..

since I already put up a post earlier, might as well put up another one. if I wait till later, God knows when that later might be.

So okay. I've been tagged. by Dr.No. I've never been, ermm..directly tagged before, so bear with me through this.



What's my favourite flower?



I like flowers. I seriously like them. but to be honest, I like them more when they're alive and healthy. ie; the ones still attached to the roots. I hate to see the beautiful flower stems dries up and become hardened and brown on my desk. By time, the petals would just fall off and I had to throw them away. I think its a major waste. However, I love to receive flowers just for the sake of symbolicity (is there even such word?) alaa, like when someone remembers u and cherish u and they give u flowers on ur special day, etc..etc.. I wouldn't mind that. it makes me feel valued/loved. and to give someone a pot instead of a bouquet of flowers seem rather ridiculous la pulak kan, and not practical at the same time.. so.. hehh.. its just that again, I'm stressing here, I like live flowers more. period.

1. the sunflower



I like it for its vibrant colour. for its cheerfulness. a friend gave this to me once, I tried to preserve it as long as I can, and when it dries up, took up it seeds and tried to plant it, but was not successful. hehh. I love sunflowers. they make me happy.


2. the tulips


I like tulips for no reason at all. i just like it. its simple and its colourful!! as a kid tulip was the only flower I know how to draw. haha.. so much for a drawing talent! =) this pic was actually taken by a friend who went to the tulip garden in amsterdam, and owh! he made me green with envy when he showed the pics of them tulips!


3. the gerbera

see, i'm saving the best for last. of all three, i like this the best. hands down. the gerbera. especially the red ones. it drives me crazee. i actually tried planting the gerbera twice. the first one died after 3 months. the latter survived 3 months longer than the first. i guess i have no green hands. but i'm planning to plant my third gerbera. but not in any time soon la i guess.



red gerbera
so thats all. my fave flowers. if i could list more, sakura and red roses would be somewhere down the list as well. hah. bilalah ader org nak bagiku bunga nih? hehhee..

hi everyone.
another post after a long hiatus. i wasn't in my blogging mood, but i was reading kak hliza's blog just now, somehow felt like writing something in here. so here goes a totally random post.

all who read my previous post would have known abt my washing machine. well, to add up to my series of mishap regarding this little creation called washing machines, the ones i'm currently parasiting (aka my friend's) broke down too. so earlier today, geared with my sabuns and berus baju, i rolled up my sleeves and started washing manually. hah. hours later, all i could do is sit on my chair feeling like my back would break. anyway, at least the laundry is done.

yep, i've been around these few weeks, jumping from blog to blog, catching up other people's post whenever i can. its just that i haven't been posting. don't ask me why. i guess one of the reason might be because i've been super busy..my finals are in about a month time. looking at the load of stuffs needed to be familiarized with before the exam, almost knock me dead. but yeah. i'm surviving. trying my best to build up my fortress so that i'm able to fend any attack from my lecturers in the exam.

so far my greatest weakness has been myself. i'm a nervous wreck. i can have nervous attack weeks before exam which can persist up to d day itself. which is actually mortifying. imagine not being able to eat, sleep or practically do anything weeks before the exam, retching away like mad the morning before exam, and went blank during the exam. for a student like me, its a nightmare. even worst than having dracula sucking my blood dry.

i had my worst nervous attack when i was in year 2, aka sem 3 final exam. i was so nervous and went blank on exam day. i failed that exam and had to go for reseat. i went home, hoping that i would be calmer and more focused by umi's side. i didn't. my nervousness just got worse by time. i remember sitting at my desk staring at the ceiling for days. and as you guess it, i failed that exam as well. which lead me to having to repeat a semester. major disappointment. that was when i realized, i need to seek help.

so i started talking to people about my problem. i started off with friends, but later realized i needed more than listening ears to solve my problem. i tried the counsellor, found her not suiting, before finally seeking refuge from my behavioural sciences lecturer. it was from her did i learn that i have some phobic problem. if i could name it, it would be examophobia..? hoho..i made that up btw, hehh..but i guess it would sound something like that.

anyway..the lecturer, Miss Z, as i call her, taught me breathing exercises, relaxation technique, prescribed me hot baths and some supplements, helped me through some desensitization exercises..etc..etc.. which had succesfully ease my way through the exam. she was my saviour indeed. i was well in the subsequent years, having less and less attack along the way...... until that day. i was about to have my end posting long case exam, and i was freaking out. that morning, i was pacing to and fro in my room, i can't swallow a thing, even breathing seem to require tremendous effort. i recognized the symptoms all to well, but nothing i did could prevail. i was in total mess.

but it seem like God loves me a lot still, as i was walking towards the ward that day, i managed to calm down and gather myself up. and i know luck was in my way as i walked to my patient's bed, when i saw the glowing eyes of my patient. i knew the case. i knew the patient . Thank God. and i think the exam went pretty well as well. i couldn't thank Him enough.

so here's me right now praying i'd have enough guts to face this exam with me and my senses in one piece. =)




i' ll be having xm in 2 hours time.

i think my heart had just popped out of my chest.











p/s: stumbled upon these pics of last year's trip to niah. it was a wet-drenching-muscle cramping experience!

most of the mothers i met at the hospital defaulted from breastfeeding their babies.

80% of them would say, 'susu keringla'.. some would just say 'anak tak mau hisap'..'susahla. akak kerja'.. (these are not official statistics btw, they're from my observations) its frustrating, when the mothers actually are fully aware of the benefits of breastfeeding. most importantly, its free! who doesn't like free stuff..? if an advertisement comes out in the paper that sound something like, free highly nutritious food for newborns for 6 months! i bet hundreds of parents would sign up for it.



behold zainab afifah. a successful product of exclusive breastfeeding. her mom expresses breastmilk for her during working hours.

look at the chubby leg! OMG...!! *faints*

p/s: yea..yea..to have me, yapping abt all this when i'm far cry from having a baby myself.. but i'm all for the good things in life! so.., say hurrah to breastfeeding! i say it can be done! =))

Dalam byk2 perasaan, perasaan yg plg senang nak dipupuk adalah rasa malas. Tak payah tanam dalam adunan tanah 3:2:2 (tanah peroi:pasir:baja organik) supaya tanaman subur (mcm yg dipelajari dalam kemahiran hidup tingkatan 2). Tak payah ditabur baja kompos. Tak payah siram hari2..Biarkan saja di situ. Akan malaslah walau serajin mana pun hati tu pada mulanya. Nak lagi subur? Senang je. Lupakan semua disiplin diri. Buat kerja ikut hati. Berhenti motivasikan diri. Pikirkan selalu tilam yang sejuk dan bantal yang lembut. Pikirkan keenakan duduk bersahaja tanpa buat apa2. Nescaya rasa malas akan tumbuh hijau dan gemilang. Cubalah sendiri kalau tak percaya.

‘The world is prone towards instability’
Rambut yang dibiar tak bersikat akan masai. Rumah yang dibiar tak berkemas akan jadi semak. Mesin yang diguna tanpa diservis akan mudah rosak. Hati yang tak selalu dididik akan mudah lalai.

Tak mungkin rambut yang tak disikat akan cantik dan beralun. Tak mungkin rumah yg tak dikemas akan jadi teratur. Mesin yang tak diservis akan selalu berfungsi dgn baik? Hati yg tak dididik tak akan selalu igt pada penciptanya.

Maka, kesimpulannya rasa malas juga perlu ditangkis. Jika dibiar ia akan ibarat fungus diatas roti yg disiram air. Konfirm jadi koloni.

" About her ~




A lady in her 20s, living in the remote of Sarawak - trying to fulfill her dreams. One step at a time, discovering and learning new and old (forgotten) things as she goes along.. Loves to eat, watch heartmoving movies, and photography!!. Her secret ambition is to be a race car driver.