The Purple Sky

"Yesterday is but today's memory, tomorrow is today's dream" - Khalil Gibran

Happy 58th Birthday Walid.
Let there be all smiles in our lives till forever.


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This is what my horoscope reads today.


" Are you obsessed with time? Always checking your watch, setting alarms,or scheduling your day down to fifteen-minute increments? If you are feeling rushed in your life right now, it's probably because you give the clock so much power! Do yourself a favor today and don't wear a watch. You will be surprised at how easy it is to navigate your day without so much attention to every minute that passes, and you will enjoy a sense of freedom that lets you do what you want when you want."
today i woke up 9 minutes before the class starts. so much for letting time pass without me noticing..
btw, have i ever mention that i'm a 'watch' person? i have a habit of looking at my watch every 15 to 30 minutes. my typical miserable day is the day i forget to put on my watch. my watch is my life.
but that sounds a bit of an understatement from my part; sebab i'm not a very punctual person.
i have a teribble time management skills; despite my looking-at-the-watch-habit. if i say; it's in the genes - that is sooo not true sbb umi dgn walid are very particular when it comes to time management. but i have always been like this ever since i could remember, sekolah rendah, sekolah menengah especiallynye.. not to mention i was the prefect at school! huhu..buruk perangai.
anyway, i'm sure going to work out something so that i won't be like this forever! hahh!

yep. yesterday, dell turned 24. and this might even be her last birthday with us. i was seriously thinking of coming up with something special for her, when i saw my friend's photoweb of this gorgeous cheesecake made by one of his collegue for his birthday. suddenly a lightbulb flashed in my head. 'why not i try make one for dell?'

*listen to the ambitious girl who has never bake a single cake in her whole life*
(not counting my attempt to make a chocolate cake back when i was in form 2. the cake turn out to be 'bubur-ish', huhu..so i guess that doesn't count)

to start off, i browsed through the net and found this simple no-bake cheesecake recipe. ahhh..just what i need..aku pun takde mirowave oven. cun-lah.

then i continued my quest by buying the ingredients needed for the cake; when one problem arose. i couldn't find a ready made pie crust, which i need to hold the cake, which is supposed to be soft, since it's a no-bake. i went to every departmental store, and to all the other shops that i think might have it. tp takde. frustrated, but still wouldn't want to give up on my precious little project. i thought, maybe if i make the mixture thicker, the cake will be able to hold itself.

so then came the most crucial moment; the cake making stage. as i said, i purposely made the mix thicker, hoping with every second that it will stand by itself. the result was unconvincing. the final mixture was in a cream-like consistency. i doubt that it would get harden enough to be called a 'cake'. however, since it still need some chilling for a few hours in the fridge before its done, i did not put my hopes off yet. as a desperate measure, i put it to chill initially, then left it in the freezer overnight. bgn pagi..i rushed to the freezer and..

arrgghhh....the mix was still cream-ish..!! huaaa...habislaa...

the taste was fine, but lembik!! then ann came up with this brilliant idea. lapiskan the cheese mixture dgn a ready made cake! *brilliant!* time2 tu jugak aku keluar ke bakery and bought a ready-made plain chocolate cake, and put the idea to work. it was messy, (and ugly). and to cover all the ugliness of my work, i splat it with a layer of baking chocolate. and top it off with some peach
slices. walaaaah..!! my cake is ready to rock..!!


ok2..i'm bragging a bit there. the cake's apperance still an embarassment to the baker's community. as pakcik put it out, it looks like " kek lumpur selepas banjir".. hahaha..




but hehh..seeing dell's happy face when i showed her the cake..how she brag to the rest abt having someone "bake" her a cake..dell makan bertambah2; lepas sekeping, sekeping.. i felt a sense of relief. to think that she almost have a cakeless birthday, huhu..love u to bits dell.!!







i don't remember how it started,


a gap existed between us.

all i can remember is;


we simply grew farther and farther apart.

sometimes i pondered into your eyes hoping u would understand.

i guess u never did.

but maybe it was just me who never tried understanding you.

so now all that's left between us is silence.


i wonder if things will ever get back to the way it was again

or will it be like this forever.

i wonder what's keeping me with you all this while amidst all the silence.

.............

maybe i because i'm still hoping.

for things to return to the way they were.

or maybe because i just miss u.

last weekend, i went to batu pahat. seeing is believing.
watching in tv is not the same as seeing with my own naked eyes.
i pray that i will never have to experience banjir in my whole life.
i pray this will soon end for these people too.
let us all pray together.


aku. cuma berani berdiri di gigi air..

dewan itu kini mereka gelar rumah..

sampah bercampur air..

pakaian..

rombongan cik kiah ke bilik mandi..

we helped the doctor set up a mobile clinic.

bana

miha

me. (not in pic)

ubat-ubatan hasil sumbangan klinik2 berhampiran..

dr. azman (dikerumuni peminat)

we camped in a nearby mosque.

it was cold, cramped and messy.

even for just one night, i felt an utmost discomfort.

imagine living like that for weeks.

imagine the sufferings they had to endure.

imagine the loss.

because i can't.


1 muharram 1428.

happy new year.

azam tahun baru;

1. nak solat di awal waktu
2. nak gi kelas awal sikit
3. nak beriadah lebih
4. nak study awal utk final
5. apa yg terlintas kat hati nak buat, kne buat terus..takleh tggu/pikir lama2. takut tak jadi lgsg.

6. tak nak selalu2 makan maggi
7. nak control bajet

hahaha..byk jugak azam nih. ader lagi sbnrnye, tp takleh tulis kat sini, *hehh*















td sempat berkumpul kat umah ramai2 baca doa akhir n awal tahun cum solat hajat cum makan2 kuih sikit. (kuih seri muka td yum yum! ) anyway., may this be a good start for an execellent year ahead.!! =)



as a person, i'm a very forgetful one.
i tend to leave my things around the house and the next second forget where i left it.
i never brought any books bigger than the size of my pocket to the wards because what'll happen next is the book missing.
the number of times i lost my handphones is a well known laughing stock among my family and friends.
my walid told me if i were to be a surgeon i will have my patients coming back complaining of abdominal pain whom later be found to have scalpels or retractors in their abdomen, left during the earlier surgery.
if i'm holding a pen and answering a phone call at the same time, the very thing i'll have in mind once i hung up is 'where on earth did the pen go?'

it's that bad.

nonetheless..i'm very good at remembering peoples' faces (patient's faces mostly), routes, places i've been to..
i can easily go back or describe the routes even to places i've only been once.
if a saw a clinical sign staring and glowing in front of me in can easily remember them for life.

i guess i have a very good photographic memory, that is.

and to have this photographic memory act in my favour thus turn me into someone less forgetful..,,hmm..any ideas?

i was being a bit inconfident yesterday..and yep..thats the insecurity that i've always had in me.. but hey..i have all the power to change rite? so world..in the next 14 months, behold the ever confident and ready to rock me! and this is a promise to myself.

anyway...was looking over the pics of these..

waaaaa..and i'm salivating for a ride.

back in miri, there was this small funfair held in town at night and they had ferris wheel as one of the attractions. me and wani had longed for a ferris wheel ride ever since god knows when. my last ride had been, well.. 15-16 years ago..? huhuu..

but we were so out of luck coz by the time we bought the entrance ticket the ride had already been closed. no one was riding it. maybe poeple are not so intrested in the wheels anymore these days..so we end up riding the-i-don't-remember-what-it's called spinning ride. (mind the background pic)



it spins, bounces, shakes, and it had no belts.

i almost get thrown out of my seat a few times.

but it was fun anyway.



sunday evening.
my brain cells were already tired.
the letters in my EnT book seemed blurry..
so i sat in front of my notebook,
and set into thinking.
clocks ticking,
and its only a few months left before i'm in my final year.
and 12 months after that i'll graduate with this title that i'm not sure i'm worthy of or not.
a month away from my daily routines has taught me lot.
new experiences..,yes.
but whats more important was i started to re-think of my future.
how serious have i been studying this field in the past 4 years.
i did well in blaming fate.
but the littlest gratitude i felt in my heart.
in 14 months i'll be responsible of another's life.
ANOTHER'S LIFE.
to think that i'm not at all ready to face the responsibilities.
it's scary..


the very bad thing about being mildly sick is that i still have to attend classes and ward rounds and clinic sessions without being in the best state of health, but are simply too well to just lay in bed and do nothing.

and whenever i had my marathon of sneezes or coughes, i will have people staring my way as if i'm the walking germ factory, happily spreading viruses all over the places to the already immuno-compromised patients..

well.. maybe i am.

how i wish i could keep a suction tube with me. then i can happily suck all this mucous out easily. how convenient.

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the message i'm sending from this video is..sing while u still can. sing because it makes one hearts' smile.

got this from mak jot. she had it printed out, bind them into a scrap book and showed it off at us..even though i never really liked cats..i think it is super cute! and love it to bits..!!


there are few laid backs i noticed upon returning to the place that i've left for a month.
1. dusts everywhere
2. dusts EVERYWHERE
3. spider webs under the desk??
4. fungi-like growth on my notebook's case **faints..**
5. almost dead water plant left in a dry jar
5. orange-coloured water flowing from the tap
6. more spider webs in the toilet
7. no food in the fridge

too tired to even care abt anything today. all that needs to be done, will be done tomorrow.
or later. hehh.


p/s : happy new year to all..
happy eid to all celebrating moslems as well.

talk abt new year..my last year's resolution was not to make any resolutions that i couldn't keep.
that resolution was supposed to come into effect every year.

and so far it has served its intention well, hehh..
this year's is - to do all the things that i should have done. and i mean ALL. good luck me. =)