The Purple Sky

Season 2006. still with renault

2007. currenly with McLaren

P/S: Picture has got nothing to do with whatever that's written above. I just sooo love this guy! *wink* He looked better in blue, don't u think?

Scene I

It was raining cats and dogs outside; when my phone suddenly rang. Unregistered number.

Hullo, isleasy ke? [voice]

Ermm.. [sleepy]

It’s me, datuk K [voice]

..Erm yea. What’s up?

Do you have datuk M’s stethoscope with you? [voice]

(note : datuk M left had cleverly left his stethoscope in the library earlier. I was just playing good Samaritans and kept it for him from any salivating prey..)

Err..yeaa....

Can I come and get it now? [voice]

Hah?

(taking phone off ear and look at clock. *12.26am* was already rolled and bundled in blankets and pillows. and have actually fallen asleep when the phone rang)

Can you just come tomorrow..? [inner self]

Yeah..urgh..okay. Dtg cepat. [me] So I can go back to sleep cepat. Cepat! [inner me]


When he came;
Is this really datuk M’s stetho?

Yess..? (I may be asleep, but not disorientated ok)

Urm ok.

And he left. No thank yous. No sorry I woke u up in the middle of the night. Cehh.

Yeaa..back to blog. I’ve been around these past few days, but never seem able to get myself writing anything down here. People used to sing; ‘there’s so much I want to say, but words always gets into my way’ hehh..It was something like that la. Plus, my laziness played a big part as well. *grins*

I had just got my laundry done last weekend. After living almost 3 weeks of only taking out clothes out of my almari baju without even once putting a fresh clean ones in (except for the little sisters), u can imagine how empty the almari looks. If its big enough I swear it’ll echo. I just found out that I can wear my baju (including the ones I don’t fancy) in one full cycle of 3 weeks without having to do any laundry before my supply of baju runs out. (*baju applies to my baju kurung. I wear baju kurung to class everyday, and runs out means I can’t go to class wearing my baju kurung anymore) And now I can picture all u people out there gawking and yapping in disgust – man, how can this girl live like that? Not to mention she’s a girl!! for god’s sake! (that’s why at this ripe age of mine I can’t even imagine myself getting married and settling down or doing stuffs like that. I salute my friends who had gone to that phase of life)

Yep, but there’s a sad story behind all this; my washing machine broke down, few months ago. (the sad story of my washing machine will have to go in another post) And life has been like this ever since then. Not – didn’t wash my clothes for 3 straight weeks kind of like this, but having had to climb stairs and knock on people’s door to parasite their still working washing machine to get my laundry done type of like this. Ann n Mha have adapted well. They wash their clothes; manually. i.e sit on stools and wash. Everyday. On the other side, me and Aziemah has adopted the door knocking technique.

U can either say I’m still living in denial or just plain lazy. I don’t mind doing dishes, I don’t mind cooking, I don’t even mind cleaning the house, but washing clothes is totally out of the planet. And thanx to my owh-so-loyal back pain, I can’t sit (or stand) too long, (even on normal chair, let alone stool). Those days of lining up, taking turns to basuh baju in hostel has long ended. Soo..yep. No thanx.

Since then, I’ve been stacking up used baju for the week and get it washed during the weekend. It’s convenient for me, not having to go up carrying all those smelly laundries ever so often, and convenient for the people I’m currently parasiting as well. But the past 2 weekends had been so full and busy either for my part or theirs. Takde rumah la, kuar gi hospital la, balik kampungla, etc2..and during the weekdays I have study group meeting almost everday, and on every other day its just whether I’m too tired or tad too lazy. Plus, I’m waaaaay too shy to drag up my smelly stack to the other rumah, so I’m practically stuck with the smelly stack for 3 weeks.

I once met an old man at the clinic.
He's 61, a father of 4, an accountant retiree, and he has Parkinson's Disease.
His memory is deteriorating by day.
He can't remember his address, let alone his wife's birthday.

When asked whether he feels sad, he said;

I have my wife, I have my kids.
How can I ever feel sad?

And they say true love is for eternity.

motivations! more motivations!
Psychology of Passing (the MBBS)


rule no 1: DON'T PANIC!

rule no 2: POSITIVE MINDSET "as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he"

rule no 3: SELF MOTIVATE "great souls have wills, feeble ones have only wishes"

rule no 4: GOAL SETTING "if you fail to plan, plan to fail"

rule no 5: AFFIRMATION "Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice - it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved"

~i have will alright!~

aloo..i'm back..i'm here with nothing precisely to write but i'm just trying to prevent myself from crawling onto bed and sleep. baru pukul 10. haaaih. i went for a jog again earlier and right now i'm all drained. again, only 1 lap. dah tak laratss. last week was worst. i didn't tell abt my post jogging experience right? haha... here goes..i was tired the whole night, slept early, (don't remember what time) didn't buge until 7 the next morning, hah! subuh dinosaur. didn't even hear the alarm. i went to the hospital with my eyes all red and boggy. but i was still dreamy and disorientated then so i crawled to the library to nap during lunch break. it was ecstacyyyy... and yess..my thigh and abdominal muscles were sore and it even hurts when i laugh. i guess my muscles had the shock of their lives when i ran that day. huhu.. so today i was more prepared. i warmed up before started running.. (haha..kejut2 muscles bgn tdo..) and i even had 2 bottles of livita ready when i'm done, haa..

but look at the sleepy and haggard me now..adoila..

i just wonder why is it so hard to remember the things that i've studied. sometimes when i open my books to look for something i don't know, its not unfrequent that i found traces evidencing me have had read that part before, but surpringly felt like i've never known that fact all my life? heh..and whenever i flipped through my books i saw traces of again highlighted words, foot notes, random so-called artworks (konon) drawn on the sides whenever i get bored..and i'm amazed by how much i've read before (kagum that even i can be that rajin, hehh) and to (pathetically) admit that none of them actually stayed in my mind long enough to be used when i needed it.

and there were familiar incidences in the wards such as having the doctors asking things like 'name the five site of porto-caval anastomosis?' and i went *blink*blink* because i can remember only 3 and even so i can only point them superficially on myself or only name the organs because i can't remember the veins specifically. or when i was asked to list the contraindications of MRI or to describe the physiology of phosphate metabolism. most of which i know i've read somewhere or memorized sometime in the past, i can even tell which book was it in and how the page looks like, but remember none of the things that i'm supposed to remember. the *blink*blink* technique is actually quite effective, non-verbally conveying message to the doctors. sometimes i tried the frying (menggoreng) technique, using the remnants of facts that i can still sadly recall and arrange in hopefully comprehensible sentences. this technique actually requires handful of guts, because..who am i trying to kid? the specialist? haha..and can naturally be discovered in a *blink* as well. but it might work (sometimes, if i'm lucky enough), if i happened to hit the right button. and then there's the bravest technique still..to admit that i've forgotten or don't know abt whatever it is being asked. the trick; prepared to be condemned to death and make sure the ear canal is clear enough for any heart wrenching comments to make their safe journey in and out.

..so you now know i'm not kidding when i say i'm so freaked out that i only have less than a year to graduate..!

OMG!! *faints*

all clad in telekung. baru lepas solat jemaah maghrib.

and another fact of life..all things studied in preparation for exam will self demolish the minute the exam ended.

what a day. i've been feverish ever since this morning, had mucous flowing out my nose like a leaked water tank, and had been sleeping all day that anyone could easily mistaken me for having opioid withdrawal. lukily i only have one class to attend today, no wards, no cps..(that's the beauty of radiology posting..) and since dr anizah couldn't make it to class today for some unknown reason, she was replaced by dr yusri..*highlight* [the good-looking dr yusri]. i wouldn't rate him as gorgeous or to-die for but yeah..he's good looking..so that's a pretty good motivation to get out of bed, iron my baju and go to class. hehhh..

okay. confession. last night i had a dream. of HIM. u know what people always say about first love. about no matter how many guys u met along the way the first one will always have that special place in ur heart; no matter how well ur life has settled HE will always hold a soft spot in ur heart and stuff..and guess what, i'm the president of such beliefs. i think its partly because i happen to still be in contact with THE GUY even after all these years..and maybe partly because i hadn't met anyone that could surpass him yet. he had set such good standards, i sometimes wonder will there ever be any other guy who could.

ever met a guy who made u feel like u're the prettiest girl under sun? (even though u're the world renown fashion disaster as well as the queen of serabai-ness). made u feel so smart and capable of doing almost anything that nothing else matters. the guy who'd laugh till he drops at ur lame jokes even when no else gets it. the guy who would stay back when everyone else leave just because he knows u might need a company. he was that guy.

but things never worked out between us, and i spent YEARS trying to get over him. agonizing years; mind you.. of trying to find someone who could at least made me forget him..to know that everything has ended LOOONG time ago, yet i'm still here haunted by memories. (sometimes, yess.) especially when i hit that lonely button.

but after all these years all that's left of him in me is mere shadow. i can even safely announce that i'm all over him by now.. its just that.. i'm still amazed at my capability of having a dream
abt him. like last night. and i woke up stunned. how cruel.

press 'delete' HIM from hard disc.
'are you sure you want to send HIM to your recycle bin?'
press 'yes'.
go to recycle bin.
press 'empty recycle bin'.
'are you sure you want to delete HIM from recycle bin?'
press 'yes'.

aaand..history. i wish its as easy as that. i really wish. no more dreams please. as precious as it was but enough as it is. please.

as i was sitting in front of my lappy earlier, a thought came to me. i got up, change, put on my sneakers and drove myself to the nearest park. i'm jogging today. hehh.

dear muscles.,, awaken!

good weather, nice breeze, lots of people and i managed to complete 1 lap around two lakes. only. (the park has three lakes) and i was struggling to finish another two laps walking. i was panting. my chest hurts. i barely had enough air to breathe, and i wasn't even sweating. OMG. how frustrating. i used to complete 3 laps around all three lakes. i used to run until my hands went numb. until i'm drenched in sweat. (yuks,! i know..) and i'm not even senile yet, huhu..

done running, i went and sat lazily on the grass and enjoy the view as the wind brushes my face. i almost forgot how good it felt to run. back in bukit jalil, i used to jog around the lake, up the hill and later sat on the topmost area of the commonwealth hill. watching people (cuci mata, hehehh), watching birds, enjoying the breeze, just taking some quiet time doing nothing while my endorphins do their job.

just now, there was a young lady (slightly older than me) walking quite a number of laps while carrying a small kid in her arm. another man was running with his young son (3 year old, i presume?) trotting from the back. this man did more laps than me, and he didn't even stop, and so was his young son! bakal pelari marathon negara nih! talk about perseverence!

but sadly, there were more people who went there just to bertenet, arghh..snuggling each other..argghh again..its one thing if they're married and snuggling each other, its another if they're not married and doing all those out in the open. come to think again, it's usually the unmarried ones who love to 'tenet' publicly, married couples have their own sweet time together at home. and argghh...for the thousandth of times.

anyway, i went home smiling and feeling owh so good.

ah, did i mention i went to watch MUKHSIN last nite? after having spent the whole day burying myself in my books, i pledged a no book night. i was edging to watch Bridge of Therabithia (did i spell it right?), but TGV seremban is not airing any! how come! and since everyone was so excited to watch mukhsin, i reluctantly tagged along, just because i had sworn a no book night, and did not want to stay at home alone nor went window shopping alone as the others went for the movie.

did i mention how much i hate yasmin ahmad? owh and did i mention how much i hate sepet jugak? and did not watch gubra because i hate sepet so much that lasted long enough for me to hate gubra as well? and now i bet u can imagine how much i didn't enjoy mukhsin.

the only good thing about the movie was that yasmin took the time to shape the personality of each characters and i enjoyed watching as the characters developed (orked's father, the pregnant neighbour). on the whole, i think the movie was plain, too much unexplained scene, both orked and mukhsin were too daring for their age (and i can't imagine kids their age talking about boring stuffs like 'if you were the maiden where would you hang ur clothes?' kind of conversation) and being daring and living in the village at the same time, i can't imagine any of the villagers not objecting to such act (naik basikal keliling kampung kulu kilir berdua2 sambil berpegangan tangan) (as the parents are too willing to approve them). okay at least from where i came from i know someone would. i know i sounded conservative, but the whole movie was fairy-like-first-love-tale. too surreal. too daring (and yess again i'm conservative). maybe in yasmin's world such people exist. hahh.

i know i would hate the movie. but i went anyway. huhu..serves me right.

I quit checking my old mailbox months ago. This is why.


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huhuhuhu....

got the first one from kak liza's blog, and the latter from kak zetty's. cate and reese eh? hehehhh..

************************************

Who's ur celebrity twin? (by Lindsey Unterberger)

Reese Witherspoon
Reese's production company is named Type A, and like her, you are both a perfectionist and a planner. You're grounded, successful and when you decided to do something, you always give 110 per cent. You value family above all else and realise the importance of raising your children in a down-to-earth environment. Reese is the first to tell you she's from the South and loves bluegrass music and collecting antique lace. You, too, are not afraid to show your traditional side. You're also fiercely protective and loyal.

it's just been 3 days and i am already dowright busy. with at least 3 more CFCS visits to be completed, the presentation coming up next week, the loads of things to study..but the good thing is, i'm not at all pressured. not yet at least.

not just yet! not just yet!

our front door light bulb has finally been switched off. (the switch got jammed for two weeks. i was scared the bulb would get too hot and burn the whole house, huhu..talk abt negativities)
and the wicked tree that used to live happily in our balcony's drainage pipe has finally been torn down. yu katta.!
the root was soo thick and mercilessly blocked the pipe, that everytime it rained, the balcony flooded. and it has been raining for days, and the sun had been shyly hiding behind the clouds..so the water basicly never dried up.
it was filthy. and perfect for aedes breeding.

recently, an old school friend asked me; what if he were to meet my parents and propose me? *gulp*. i never see that coming. no way.

not just yet. not just yet!

she : want to go out for dinner?

me : where to?

she : alees's.

me : urm, it's ok. no thanx.

she : good.


moral of the story ; takyah la ajak kalau sekadar nak manis mulut.

And aahhh..as the title itself implies, I did shed 1 litre of tears (if not more) while watching the whole 11 episodes. I cried until my head hurts, and my eyes were swollen to such extent that when Zma saw me, she thought I had both my eyes stung by ants or something, hahaa...

I suppose I may never want to watch this drama again because I will surely succumb to dehydration this time.

heee..how long has it been..? 10 days? 2 weeks? its been long i know.. but the past 10 days had been so full i do not know how to sum everything up into fine sentences. had my week long break last week, dell and dija and the rest finishing the exam and passing them in all shades of colours flying in the air..which means they’ll be moving to batu pahat for the last leg of their 5 years medical school. they’re now just 1 step behind to finishing med school. that fast. isn’t that a wow. and i think it’s going to be sad not to have them around anymore, sleeping on my bed, parasiting my house for days, clearing the stocks of food in the fridge and all..hahaha... (i know i’ll be dead if they read this..=P) *sigh* i’m seriously gonna miss them.

then me going back to taiping for 4 days for the CNY holidays and i still doesn’t understand why all holidays has to end, huhu.. and we had abang who rarely gets the chance to cuti at home as well so it was definitely a perfect balik kampung break. rase mcm tak mau balik seremban langsung dah. and yesterday i had my minor postings exam. questions from all 4 postings (ophthalmology, dermatology, ENT, emergency medicine) cramped into 2 deadly mcq and ospe papers. and right now i’m sitting by the clock, counting the hours to go before i’m officially a final year med student.

and one last thing, i’m now a mcFly addict, hehe..

it was dija who got me to listen to their current hit, ‘it’s all about you’. then cherrap got me tuning to the songs ‘just my luck’ and ‘sorry is not enough’, which eventually led me to searching and downloading all their current and earlier albums. and before i know it, i found myself listening and humming their songs non-stop at home, in campus,, and even while setting branulas on my patients. luckily my patients tak freak out n kata ‘gila ke doctor ni’ or something like that..hehe..

and hah.. the other day we had a cardiac emergency practicals. we had to practice reacting promptly and correctly to given cardiac emergency cases on Mr. Sim the simulator man (who can breath, have pulse and and can go into cardiac arrest) well, at the and of the practice session, my Mr Sim died, which was sad. it had me promised to myself that I will just have to do better next time if i9 don’t want to see real patients becoming lifeless because of my own hands in the future. hmm..

their now empty house, *sigh*