Me and another batchmate ym-ing on one fine day..
“This is seriously an issue to talk about”
“Issue?..what issue?”
“About being a doctor and staying single”
(p/s: He’s currently single but not available. Bolela dia cakap byk..)
This is totally not a topic people talk out in the open. Its definitely something that everyone is aware of but simply refuse to discuss. My brother told me from the first day I enrolled into medical course; “You should get a boyfriend now. Or you never ever will” Umi never said anything about it, at least not in front of me. Funny how I used to think she’s all cool about this kind of stuff, until adik mentioned how umi sometimes unleash her deepest worries about me showing no signs of ending my singlehood, I realized she’s just like any other umi out there. *sigh*
Umi, I’m just 23.
Sad but true, It’s not just umi who are laden with such thoughts. In fact, I toyed with the same thought myself. And I know I’m not alone in this. I am sure if not always, these thoughts might have crossed the fiery mind of us single-medical students at least once. I can recite the names of at least 10 friends with such worries in one breath. Given 2 breaths I can list even more. -Will I end up on the altar one day? Will I ever find the right person? Is there someone out there who can except me and understand the career path that has lay in front me, (whats with being too busy, too taxing, too time-consuming and all...)Or would I just end up like that OnG specialist, who has no ring on her fourth finger, but already wrinkles started developing over her pretty face, or like that awesome surgeon, who is not just awesome but also painstakingly nice, and has the features of a hot supermodel had she chose to be one, but nonetheless, single. And to admit that the number of this particular group of people is actually aplenty and growing by day, I can't help but wonder.. whether one day I’ll be adding up to their population myself. Or will a day comes when I would just give up all hope on finding that one person and decide to make my work my life and that’s it.
It all sounded so pathetic.
But not actually quite like that. As life puts it, I love my life the way it is. I love being single. I love going out and not having to inform anyone beforehand. I love hanging out with my girlfriends and giggle over some guy we met at the coffeeshop. I love not having someone telling me not to do this and that just because he doesn’t want me doing so. Plus, I do still have tonnes of things to do before settling down. I want to go places, do things. Things that I’m not sure I’ll be able to do when I’m attached. And being a student and not gifted with the ability to handle too much at a time, I know I’m sooo not ready for any attachments yet. (I tried to commit to few relationships before, but decided to quit because i find it too...complicated.)
So does that make singleton my all time favorite brand?
The answer is no. Because despite all that, deep inside, I do wish to settle down one day. And yess, I do want to go home to that one person, who'd share his laughes with me, who'd shed my tears whenever i cry. To share my laundry basket with that same person, to cook dishes for two instead of one, to have someone to argue about whether to watch football or sappy movies for the night, etc..etc.. To know that there is one person who’d take me in no matter what. Yess..one day. Not now, but one day.
Somehow I believe that one fine day I’ll wake up in the morning and find that I’m all ready, and by the time there’s this perfect guy who will come and knock me upside down and wallaah..! Everything fall into place perfectly. yeah..yeah..I know it sounded too fairy tale-like, a little too ideal to wish in this non-ideal world. But hadn't He said Himself,
“ And Allah has made for you mates (and companions) of your own nature,
and made for you, out of them, sons and daughters and grandchildren, and
provided for you sustenance of the best: will they then believe in vain
things, and be ungrateful for Allah.s favours?”
-An-Nahl verse 72,
So that’s not too much to ask for, isn’t it?
3 comments:
The time will come dear. Some things happen without plans..if Allah wants, it will happen just like that~!
heheheee..thanx kak! =))
adik...i'm a doctor too... but don't worry..it's typical...nanti bertemu la...
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