sekitar wedding izni..held at dewan cempaka suites, cheras. konvoi beramai2 4 bijik keta. it was a sweet ceremony. to izni, semoga bahagia ke anak cucu..!
the couple
sape lak yg hidang nenas tp lupe nak kupas tuh..
konon2 saiful nang..
saiful nang lagik..
us
i made a wrong decision once. and have been living regretfully for years. now i'm repeating the same mistake. i should have listened to my own voice rather than others...hahh! now all i really want is to take back all my words; which i know is impossible. but people say nothing is impossible, right? so there may be some tinge of hope here, betul? i really wish i could turn things around. go back to that time when i made that stupid mistake, do it differently this time, and have everything the way it was supposed to be. but if that is to happen then i may need the DeLorean (the car in Back to the Future) or the telephone booth they used in the movie Bill and Ted Excellent Adventures or any devicelah that could take me to the past. but its a hard fact that those are mere fictions so does this mean its a no-hope situation altogether? i don't really regret all that happened actually, because had i not made the mistake, i might not found out whatever it is i know now. at least now i know. but whats killing me is that i can't do anything about it. to change it. i just thought things could have been better. it's part of the adult life cycle i guess. making decisions, and live with the consequences of the decision made. be it good or bad. saying this sounds so academic, but to actually live with the mistake..,, hmmm...i somehow wonder.. can i just by any chance, re-decide?
waaaaaaa............
CNY break has now started.
on the other side, me n wani were all pumped to go for on call for the night (despite the rest who had safely arrived at their respective hometowns).
when we arrived at the accident n emergency dept (A&E), there was a middle aged man at the yellow zone..and another rather stable patient in the red zone.
one dozing off, the other unconscious. no emergency cases. no acute patients.
1 hour passed..
still no signs of patients. the doctors and MAs clumped at one corner, spreading gossips. me and wani, stuck at another corner doing practically nothing.
tik.tok.tik.tok...
still no signs of patients. i started burying myself into todays's sudoku i found in the local newspaper.
subsequent hours passed. tension heightened. i'm done blowing my glove up and playing mr glove man. wani had switched from reading notes to sketching on tongue depressors.
no glimps nor smell of patients, still. me and wani exchange glances. then the exchange of nods. mutual understanding. we got up and and went straight home. so much for an on-call, hehh.
bgn pg td, perut dah menyanyi2..
hari ni takde kelas pagi, maka duduk umah dan berhibernasi je la plan aku hari ni. niat dihati sbnrnye nak puasa..tp memandangkan aku dah terlajak tak bgn sahur sblm subuh td, isyk..mcm tak berani la pulak nak puasa, dgn perut aku yg cop gastrik nih.
masuk je dapur, tgk atas almari..air mata aku dah nak berlinang...
ape pun takde utk dimakan, huhuhu.
roti dah habis.
telur pun takde.
biskut dalam tin dah lemau.
kek yg ader kat atas meja makan tu pulak dah ader tumbuhan berspora kat atas dier.
milo pun tggl sisa2 serbuk je.
yg ader cume maggi. beras. (takkan nak makan nasik pepagi buta nih?). dan energy bar (tah sape punye). sayu rasa hati. nak keluar pegi beli makanan, malas la pulak. maka,, energy bar pun boleh la..nanti aku ganti balikla kat tuan dier..darurat nih.
sedihnyaaa..rasa hati..kalau umi tahu anak dier kat sini idup macam ni, mesti dier sedih jugak..huhu..
*stole* this pic from nash's blog. it's warm and sweet. the soft pink cheek is so yummy! (i feel like a monster now)
i just watched a movie called 'Requeim for a Dream'.
okay, including 'Let the Birds Fly Over the Cuckoo's Nest', 'Gattaca'.. and some other movies i can't bring myself to mention, this is one of the most disturbing movies i've ever watched; ( i know..i know..i'm not that adventurous when i comes to such movies..) but all i can think during the whole time was - this is what happen when people has no reason to live, when life has no purpose. when the only reasons to wake up the next morning are because thy lungs are still breathing, and thy heart is still pumping. when living only means = to eat, find pleasures and keep on living. when only one shimmer of hope means the world, and one would do anything to revive the hope.
and its nauseating. but sadly true.
well, that's what beliefs are for. we need reasons to live. that's why we pray, that's why we die. because life has to have a meaning. i thank Allah for giving me all the reason to live.
just out of curiosity, i tried looking out for the word requiem, it's a latin, and it means- a mass for a deceased person, or a musical composition for such mass.
i should get back to my books. *sigh*
as i was about to go home during lunch break yesterday, i saw this on my windshield.
a suicide note, a.k.a death note. hehh.. in psychiatry i learn the two types of suicide attempts are; one from people who doesn't really want to die, but need to commit suicide to draw some attention frm others to self, and secondly from the people who desperately want to die.
the former will tend to commit attempts yg tak sure lagi will end up with death, (ie makan panadol atau ubat tidur overdose, kelar wrist, dll) and they don't usually leave suicide notes, u see..
the latter however will commit more fatal attempts, (terjun dari bangunan tinggi, berdiri tgh2 railway track ie-attempts yg kalau buat confirm mati punye..) and they usually leave suicide notes. as u see here.
so when i saw this note, i do take it seriously. moreover, as the name depicts- villa cinta kenyir.. i know the note came from this bunch of 4 guys who lives nearby. 4 guys = means 4 lives are at stake there.
as a desperate measure, i went to this shop nearby and grab the thing that i know would have immediate ease effect, my comfort food. the cornetto ice cream.
that night, i received another note in effect. it reads:
"kami telah membatalkan niat utk terjun ke dalam tasik kenyir beramai2 selepas disogok dengan aiskrim cornetto..kami akan berusaha utk menghadapi gambar2 org gile yg akan datang dengan jayanya.. insya-Allah.. terima kasih kerana menyogok.. "
hahaha..all because of the xm. hehh..
********************
the big ma'am
the killer smile
the nachos
and to the rest yg gambar2nya tak dapat disiarkan (huda, hanisyam, combi, annas, fahmy, aisyah, nisya, man toba, faya n the gang, kak fir and the gang, dayu satu rumah, semua-semualah kiranya..!! ) break a leg! break all bones! may u guys survive the battle intact!
aku rasa mesti sume org penah dgr lagu 'perpisahan' by anuar zain.
kali pertama dgr lagu tu, aku terus terkasima, terpempan (bak kata kamus dewan). walaupun dah dgr lagu ni berkali2, it still gives me the same effect. same perasaan meruntun jiwa..same goosebumps.
to me, a good song is one that touches the heart. i remember al-farabi, our own muslim music genius said ' a good song is one that makes a person cry, laugh or feel sad'.
yep, how true.
