The Purple Sky

went to tesco earlier. it was just recently opened to public.
tempat tu agak jauh dari rumah, plus i'm no fan of hypermarkets.
niat di hati nak gi jenguk2 je. and while i'm at it, maybe get an ice cream or two, uh-oh..
(i ran out of supply last week)

ramainyee org...sampai tak hingat.
but then again, bende baru bukak, tak heran la kan..
still panas lagi..masih hip.

anyway..jalan2..tgk2..grab a thing or two, pen, buku tulis..bende2 yg tetibe rasa nak beli sbb murah..;
before i finally reached my destination..
the 'FROZEN FOOD' section.

and my jaw dropped.

6 peti.
with ice cream tags above it.
all empty.
licin.
kosong.
squeaky clean.

and i wasn't dreaming.
all the ride to and fro to tesco and i'm still ice cream deprived.
keciwaaa..

ermm..too lazy to put up any decent post. few pics will do.. actually nak letak byk2 pics, been so long since i put up any. these are taken at 'pesta bunga api dan tanglung' time aku balik taiping 2 hari lepas..lalu tepi jalan n nampak display2 yg sungguhla amat tempting.. so malam isnin haritu berjaya menghasut adik supaya ponteng tuisyen n temankan aku ke pesta tanglung nih. hehee..it was nice and for most part, colourful!!

bumbung istana aladdin di agrabah

and this is my favourite...dang!

draaagon..reminds me of the hungarian horntail..wauggh..

owh..macam ni rupenye nak seludup cd2 cetak rompak..

another cute display.. =P

..i'm in paris! weee...

i love the details of the display. see..?

and this...

lotus!

i was seriously possessed..look at that face, haha..

its a fibroid. small one. and she's discharged today. pheww. she might have to undergo a surgery later. truth is..i'm glad its nothing sinister. i went to sleep last night with thousand and one things flowing through my mind-- its almost crazy.

i told her today--"don't do this to me again. anything happens, you must tell me. yess i'll be worried, but its my job to be worried abt u, u're my umi. that, or i'll go crazy thinking of possible things that could happen to you." -sigh-

again, i wish i could go back right now jugak.

can't wait for xm to pass. cepatla hari jumaat!

umi called just now.

we talked.

its only after a while that she said;

'sorila umi tak habaq ni awal2 kat *isleasy*. umi bukan takmau bagitau, takdak apa2 pun ni. tp umi lani kat hospital. umi kne admit.'

gedegang! - jantung aku gugur-

it turns out that she had been admitted for the last 2 days, due to menorrhagia, but did not tell me, and warned everyone else not to tell me just because i'll be having my xm in the next few days. she doesn't want me to be worried.

i was furious! and of course worried! and taktau la.. i felt numb. i know her intentions are good, tapi... -sigh-

bile aku tanye umi ok ke? --she said 'yess' ..
umi bleeding byk ke.? --umi kata 'takdala byk pun..haritu *isleasy* balik umi dah ada period. lani ada lagi.'
uishh...[lama tu..] umi ada SOB tak? --umi cakap 'umi ok....jgn la risauu..umi takdak apa2..'
-aku diam-
betul ke umi ok? umi ada rase apa2 lain tak? -- umi jawab 'betul ni, umi ok.'

so i rest my case. at least in front of her.

then i called adik at home. then truth came out. she actually had been bleeding so profusely at home that she had to change pads once in abt ten minutes. getting worse since last week. i gawped. masyaAllah. byk tu.

and then there's another thing. okay..i don't really have much gynaecological knowledge per se at the moment, (i haven't done my gynae posting..i practically know almost nil) but i seriously smell something amiss. umi's post menopausal (currently on HRT). and per vaginal bleeding in post menopausal women is definitely not a good sign! so i went through all my books looking for some signs and clues and what i found was totally beyond me... *slap..slap my face!* i won't even try to go there.

maybe i'm thinking too much. -sigh-

yess..i guess that's it. i'm just thinking too much.

i need to find out more.

i pray nothing is wrong with umi. i pray that Allah would keep her healthy. i pray for her to be discharged soon.

i wish i could fly home and sleep with her tonight.

owh and did i mention? yesterday, (24th) was my birthday.

Sit at my desk. Stare at the words-filled page. Read few sentences. Read whole paragraph. Nothing make sense. Repeat reading.

*stress heightened*

Takpe2. Cube lagi. Open new page. Take few deep breaths and with bismillahirahmanirrahim I start again. No avail.

Serangga kecik ala2 lalat buah terbang2 atas buku. Splaat! Serangga kecik penyet atas buku. *wicked grin...*

Buang serangga kecik. Stare at book again. Hmpf. Close book. Start browsing net.

-20 minutes-

Isyk, takleh jadik nih. Open book again. Try mind exercise. *I can do this! I can do this! Few more pages to go! Sikiiitt…je lagi! Ya Allah let me do this!* Stare at the words harder. Scrutinize every sentences. Word-by word. Until end of paragraph. Okeh. Now, reflect. What did I read just now?

*world halt in a standstill*

-sigh- Adoilaa.. I read, but unable to absorb. Slouch on chair. Duduk diam2. Just when I need to read quickly, cover more, this has to happen. I need to retreat.

Walk out to the hall, my pillow with me, lie in front of tv, and zzzz.. 30 minutes. Wake up. *gosok2 mata* Fresh, yess? Start again, yess? 5 minutes- basuh muka and a glass of water and I’m back on my desk.

Whole process starts again. This time manage to make sense of few sentences. Tp too little to make any difference. Hmmm…...

Flip through my book. Macamana nih? Urut2 kepala. Sambil tenyeh sikit2. [How’re u doing today dear brain.? Kurang sihat kah? Anything I can do to make u ok?]

*silent*

waaa…what am I expecting.? waaaaaa.......….




p/s: still at the same state at the time this is written.
(15.55, 22nd Apr 2007. Microsoft word)
p/s (p/s) : Happy Earth Day

dapat link ke ad cum community msg ni dari blog tuan tanah. tak pernah terlintas yang lagi byk CO2 dihasilkan semasa seseorg bercakap. =(

~nampaknya org2 bisu contribute very little to global warming. how cool.





and aaahh..just finished watching 'kalis cinta' tadi. bwhahaha.. aku nobat drama tu sbg yg plg best aku penah tgk so far..ade unsur2 drama korea campur unsur2 drama latin campur unsur2 drama melayu yg pekat.

saya sebagai penasihat kanan firma keempat terbesar di malaysia mengatakan drama ini sgt best!